Nanowrimo Days Eighteen and Nineteen

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My friends, I have to admit that I'm hitting the wall.  I'm also starting to be overwhelmed with doubt.  I had hoped that this would be the year I would get something to a point that I would be willing to self-publish it, or that I would submit something I had written for publication.  I did manage the second, and was rejected - twice - but at least I managed to accomplish something.  I have serious doubts about the first goal, though, and at this point I'm not sure it's something I should even be trying to do.

My writing isn't great.  I'm pretty sure it doesn't even cross the line into "good" territory.  I have ideas, but I don't know how to implement them, and I don't think I'm capable of putting them in such a way that anyone outside of my head would even care about it.  I've gotten pretty accustomed to throwing words into the void, but now I don't know if I should be doing even that much.

I have no idea if I'm going to finish.  Part of me really, really wants to throw in the towel, and I'm having a hard time justifying why I'm not.  Maybe I'll feel better after a good night's sleep, or maybe I'll decide that I should wrap my dream of being a writer in some cotton and put it away in a trunk, where it belongs.  We'll just have to see what tomorrow brings.

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