Music has always been a pretty important part of my life. I have a hard time focusing if I don't have something playing in the background, and I love a good playlist.
At the end of last year, I put together a playlist called "Not Yet Dead Dammit," just to help me remember that I was going to get through the rough times. Now that things are coming to a head, and the Malevolent Cheeto is actually taking office, I know a lot of us are worried. Terrified, angry, sad - there are a lot of emotions running wild right now, and it's unlikely that that will change anytime soon. I've added some new songs to the playlist, and they all fall into one of three categories: call to action (lots of angry, "things are broken and we need to fix them" songs), celebration (primarily things that remind me that I'm still here in spite of everything), and rest (songs that remind me to take a breath, that I can't keep up the fight if I don't let myself recharge).
I know it may not be a great solution for everyone, but just the exercise of putting the playlist together helped me get into a good head space for the times to come. Things are frightening, and it feels like the US is on the precipice of disaster; there's still so much we can do to pull ourselves away from the edge.
To everyone marching and protesting this weekend, please be safe, and thank you for getting the message out.
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Friday, January 20, 2017
Monday, April 6, 2015
The Politics of Everything
It's been an interesting few months to be a fan, and things have come to a head this last weekend with the announcement of the nominees for the Hugo Awards. io9 has probably the best write-up about the situation, but the short version is that a couple of fairly big authors decided to put together "slates" of potential nominees, and used their clout to help get these slates onto the short list for the Hugos.
Now, anything that relies on feedback from the public at large is going to have groups that have agendas that have nothing to do with the actual merits of the award. It isn't all that surprising that there was some backlash from last year's nominations and wins, but it's still incredibly frustrating.
As readers of this blog/people who know me IRL know, I'm a lot of things. I'm a feminist, in that I believe people should be treated equally, regardless of gender. I'm a minority in world of fandom in a lot of ways - I'm a woman, I'm mixed-race, I'm mentally ill, etc. There are certain (very small, thankfully) groups within the fan community that would rather I left their sandbox alone, lest I get my cooties all over them.
I spent this past weekend at Norwescon, which will always hold a special place in my heart as the first convention I ever attended. I was surrounded by "my people" - people who enjoyed what I enjoyed, who would catch the semi-obscure references I throw into conversation on a regular basis, and who would be able to give me recommendations for other things to try. It's a wonderful weekend in a place that tends to ignore all those things that I am, and actively rejects that group of fandom that doesn't want us.
Even there, however, there was no way to get away from the politics. There were entire panels dedicated to diversity in games and books, and learning how to deal with the people who want to maintain the status quo. There were ribbons for badges to help people become more comfortable in their environment by making their preferred pronouns clear, and their comfort with complete strangers. I appreciate that the effort is being made to make people comfortable and give them a safe place to geek out, but it still saddens me that it's necessary to be so explicit in making sure that people treat each other like, well, decent human beings.
Mostly, however, I'm just tired. I'm exhausted by the fear I feel every time I express an opinion. I'm tired of the amount of time I spend policing my language to make sure that not only do I not offend, but also that am "enough" - feminist enough, Hispanic enough, supportive enough of those who are under constant attack. I'm tired of knowing that any moment, an author or other content creator whose work I enjoy will have something come up online which will make their work "problematic", and I'm tired of justifying continuing to consume their content after finding out about their problematic tendencies. I hate that reading a book or going to a movie is a political statement, and I'm terrified that if I ever do become any kind of public figure, the words I'm writing right now may be used against me.
The glow of a weekend of geekdom was marred by the outrage regarding the Hugos. I realize it's completely naive, but I want to lose myself in a world with characters that are interesting and ignore the real world for a while. I read to learn, and I read to escape, and right now what I want to escape is the world surrounding fandom. I'm just afraid that it's becoming too much to ask anymore.
Now, anything that relies on feedback from the public at large is going to have groups that have agendas that have nothing to do with the actual merits of the award. It isn't all that surprising that there was some backlash from last year's nominations and wins, but it's still incredibly frustrating.
As readers of this blog/people who know me IRL know, I'm a lot of things. I'm a feminist, in that I believe people should be treated equally, regardless of gender. I'm a minority in world of fandom in a lot of ways - I'm a woman, I'm mixed-race, I'm mentally ill, etc. There are certain (very small, thankfully) groups within the fan community that would rather I left their sandbox alone, lest I get my cooties all over them.
I spent this past weekend at Norwescon, which will always hold a special place in my heart as the first convention I ever attended. I was surrounded by "my people" - people who enjoyed what I enjoyed, who would catch the semi-obscure references I throw into conversation on a regular basis, and who would be able to give me recommendations for other things to try. It's a wonderful weekend in a place that tends to ignore all those things that I am, and actively rejects that group of fandom that doesn't want us.
Even there, however, there was no way to get away from the politics. There were entire panels dedicated to diversity in games and books, and learning how to deal with the people who want to maintain the status quo. There were ribbons for badges to help people become more comfortable in their environment by making their preferred pronouns clear, and their comfort with complete strangers. I appreciate that the effort is being made to make people comfortable and give them a safe place to geek out, but it still saddens me that it's necessary to be so explicit in making sure that people treat each other like, well, decent human beings.
Mostly, however, I'm just tired. I'm exhausted by the fear I feel every time I express an opinion. I'm tired of the amount of time I spend policing my language to make sure that not only do I not offend, but also that am "enough" - feminist enough, Hispanic enough, supportive enough of those who are under constant attack. I'm tired of knowing that any moment, an author or other content creator whose work I enjoy will have something come up online which will make their work "problematic", and I'm tired of justifying continuing to consume their content after finding out about their problematic tendencies. I hate that reading a book or going to a movie is a political statement, and I'm terrified that if I ever do become any kind of public figure, the words I'm writing right now may be used against me.
The glow of a weekend of geekdom was marred by the outrage regarding the Hugos. I realize it's completely naive, but I want to lose myself in a world with characters that are interesting and ignore the real world for a while. I read to learn, and I read to escape, and right now what I want to escape is the world surrounding fandom. I'm just afraid that it's becoming too much to ask anymore.
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